2002-12-26 - 1:44 p.m.

I am falling asleep at my desk. I opted to keep working through the holidays because I�m saving my vacation days for a trip to New York in a few months. The office is dead. I thought I would enjoy it, but I�m just dosing off. This might have something to do with the zillions of painkillers I�ve taken. I need a root canal, and I�m in denial about it.

I have a lot of holiday tales I�d like to tell, especially the one of how I�ve engaged in bizarre gifting with my dad�s girlfriend (Karen) every year. This year was no different. She�s nuts. Every year, Karen gives me the weirdest gifts. A few gifts of Christmases past have included:

1. a large statue of a rabbit wearing pantaloons and a vest playing the accordion.

2. a 30-pound shiny golden dog head with a hinged mouth that clamps shut. (According to Karen, this gift is a paperclip.)

3. a very small pillow with an applique of an apple on it (The weird part with this gift is: When I opened it, Karen said, "You can put that pillow in your kitchen. And if anyone asks you why you have a pillow in your kitchen, just tell them that you can put a pillow in any room you want to.") See? She�s nuts.

I�ve started trying to out-weird her, but I haven�t tried hard enough. This year I gave her a statue of a monkey playing the violin. She loved it. And what did Karen give me? A plaster sculpture of a cow in a polka-dotted tutu. Hooray! It will look lovely next to the surfing chimpanzee on the porch! With each Christmas, the freaky sculpture circus expands.

Stay tuned for photos of Karen�s Christmas gift collection�

�

---

<< Previous - Next >>

�