2003-05-30 - 9:29 a.m.

My workplace compatriots and I will be heading up to Book Expo America in L.A. in a few short hours. It sorta feels like we�re getting out of prison. I wonder if I�ll run into the people who almost hired me for my "dream job" in SF? I know I�ll run into the South County publishing ladies who were my coworkers for a few months before I went crazy and came crawling back to my career in calendar publishing. (These women drove me crazy. They acted like Sex in the City characters 24/7. It was a surreal six months.)

I was hoping for some interesting author signings, and - such luck! - Chaka Kahn will be signing her autobiography! I have to say, that�s not nearly as thrilling as the last Book Expo I attended at which Rudy (of Survivor I), Joyce Carol Oates, and Lemony Snicket did signings.

But wait! Headmusic just informed me that Heidi Fleiss and Irvine Welsh will be signing this afternoon. Hoorah.

It�s strange, when I went to Book Expo in Chicago two years ago, I had such a different feeling. Maybe it had something to do with staying in the fancy hotel downtown, but I had a "I�m on the fast track to a super duper career in publishing! I am publishing!" feeling. Only two years later, and I feel beaten down and, well, stuck. I know I�m not stuck, but sometimes I feel as though I am. How can I feel discouraged when I might see Chaka Kahn in a few hours?!

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