Myra Lee

2008-05-12 - 8:40 p.m.

God I hate Ticketmaster. Last Saturday morning I sat poised at my computer, ready to purchase tickets for The Swell Season at the Greek when they went on sale at 10:00 a.m. The second the clock ticked 10, I made my move. I had to have been one of the very first people trying to buy tickets, seriously. And what seats did Ticketmaster offer me, the eager beaver? Section B, row R. Horrible seats! I was so annoyed, I refused to buy them. I swear they don't even make the good seats available to the actual fans anymore. Whatever happened to the days of getting good seats by sleeping outside of Music Plus the night before tickets went on sale? When I looked at ticketsnow.com, the seats I wanted were going for more than $400 each. What in the world? That's more than twice what my sister and I paid for our front-row tickets (at the same venue) to see Dolly Parton on her Backwards Barbie tour in August! I guess winning an Oscar is a real career booster?

We have this friend everyone calls Ticketmaster Dave (which is, admittedly, not a very clever nickname) who swears that in a big city you can just show up to any show and get free tickets. He hasn't bought a ticket to a show in years. He just turns up a few hours before the show, hangs out, and INVARIABLY gets a free ticket. I tried this with him once and was successful, but I still lack faith that it would work every time. I think it's more about him and his svengali negotiating powers than the idea that there are free tickets floating around everywhere. He's very Obi-Wan-like and the ticket holders just hand over the tickets as if stormtroopers. Plus, I really do want to support the band, just not for $400 a seat. And not in shitty seats.

I used to not care about shitty seats. My first concert was The Cure at Dodger Stadium, five rows from the back, and I could almost reach up and touch Earth's atmosphere, but I was so overjoyed to be there. I just jumped up and down the whole time, as if Richard Simmons. I really was the world's happiest goth. But now I'm old and I feel somewhat entitled to better seats. Mind you, I will still jump up and down for Dolly's entire set, but far below the atmosphere. By the way, how excited am I to see Dolly in August? Super fantastically excited! Backwards Barbie! I can't say it without smiling.

This has been an incredibly boring discussion of tickets and nonsense and I apologize for inflicting it on you. Someone is avoiding memorizing all 7 trillion federal rules of evidence. If only I'd ever watched a single episode of Law and Order, law school would've been a breeze.


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