2006-07-28 - 12:58 a.m.

Tonight I met up with favorite friends at Largo to see Lisa Germano. I used to love her so, but tonight I sat there not able to feel anything. Then, just when I thought my heart had become a mangled pile of rust, she played that song that goes �You would give anything to change back to when the waves were smaller and you could jump over. Change back. To when you laughed easier.� And I remembered how much I love her, and why. Plus, it helped that a pedal steel player and a harmonium guy crept onto the stage and accompanied mid-way through.

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Here comes the part where you get really jealous: Last Sunday, I met Lady of the Red Dirt, her charming gentleman friend, gentleman�s sister, and gentleman�s sister�s boyfriend. Right here in Hollywood, land of dreams! It was very V.I.P., though not as V.I.P. as I�d intended. You see, I thought I was directing us to the site where beer was poured on the weave of ANTM�s Tiffany. Let it be known that the bitch poured beer on Tiffany�s weave at Barney�s Beanery in Santa Monica, not the Pig �n Whistle. Fortunately, we had a V.I.P. moment when we visited the world-famous Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, right here in the Times Square of the World (i.e. H&H, aka Hollywood and Highland). I was sure one of us would get discovered there. We struck some poses, but where was Peter, Janice�s business partner? Nowhere, that�s where.

Seriously though, RDG is the coolest. You could not imagine a prettier, funnier gal. Try as you might. She even enjoyed Erik�s jokes about how he aspires to be an artist who works purely in the medium of surfing monkeys. There�s always a surreal element to meeting a d-lander in real life. I always get nervous beforehand. But meeting RDG and her instantly likable peeps was so fun. We wished they were here on Wednesday for Project Runway viewing. (Because, honestly, why is Ms-Off-the-Grid-Andrea still there?) As we drove away from the Times Square of the World Erik said, "That's kind of sad meeting people you really like and knowing you'll never get to hang out with them." It is.

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With only two weeks to go at the TV legal job, I was given an ever-so-fancy office to inhabit. View of Santa Monica�all the way to the ocean. I could live in this office. The person who inhabited it before me?

wait for it�

wait for it�

Ricki Lake.

Ricki left no traces of herself, other than some deserted fan-mail requesting autographs. These letters are so tender and priceless, I can�t believe it.

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Yesterday at the law firm job, the firm�s receptionist was trying to figure out which lawyer was handling a certain project. The project? A screenplay entitled �Sand in My Pants.� Imagine a bright young �ber-executive-assistant type chirping, �Dan, are you sand in my pants?...No?...Eric�Are you sand in my pants?...No?...Hey Michael, are you sand in my pants?�

This went on for way too long, and even though I heard the name 20-something times, I still somehow managed to forget the title. So, when I had a sudden burst of knowledge about which lawyer was handling the project, I dashed over and exclaimed to senior partner (senior partner had just walked in, had not heard the prior exchanges), �I THINK FRANK IS SAND IN YOUR PANTS!!!�

In fact, it wasn�t Frank�s project. When I left for the day, it was still unresolved who was sand in my pants. But now senior partner thinks I'm rad.

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