2004-12-09 - 3:25 p.m.

Tonight is the company Christmas party. There is certain to be all kinds of forced fun in the form of games and contests. Last year we had a heated competition of decorating co-workers as Santa using Vaseline and cotton balls. And the party is a sober affair. To me, a holiday party without liquor is like Journey without Steve Perry�like Chinese food without MSG�like Conan O�Brien without Andy Richter. One year we even had to do karaoke. Who on god�s green earth does karaoke sober?! These people do. I have been working here too long.

And on that note, I got my first response from a law school yesterday! It�s the one in Southern California whose mascot has the same name as a very popular brand of condoms. I got in! They want me! And I want them, although I feel like Judas Iscariot wanting them as I do, since they�re the cross-town rivals of my dear, proud undergraduate alma mater. But I was able to reconcile the matter within my little conscience.

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