2004-01-15 - 11:46 a.m.

Some days life seems so full of hassles. Today, for example. I had a doctor's appointment (with a "hand specialist") this morning. And I'm going to have surgery to have a harmless (yet annoying) cyst removed from my hand. I�ve never had surgery. I�m one of those never-broken-a-bone-or-seriously-injured-myself-in-any-way people, so I�m freaking myself out over the whole surgery thing.

And then there�s the thing where the dry cleaner has no record of Erik�s million-dollar shirt, and I managed to lose the dry cleaner pick-up slip.

And how did I manage to cover nearly every square inch of the floor mats in my car with coffee stains? They look like Rorschach inkblot tests.

And I finally signed up for my 401K just like a real grownup, but I invested blindly. Sure enough, one of the mutual funds I chose happens to be one of those scandalous organizations that have been in the news as of late. And something about "planning for retirement" when I�m only 27 makes me feel horribly existential.

And I still have my wisdom teeth, and they�re impacted.

And why is there dirt under my fingernails?

I need to be waxed.

I seem to have killed another plant.

I want to apply for grad school.

I still need to send out Thank You cards for Christmas presents.

I still need to send out my Hit Parade of 2003 comps.

And now - at work - I have to try to persuade this really talented, really accomplished artist to illustrate a 60-page book for super cheap. I hate that humiliating moment of silence after I present our pitiful rate. And then I have to laugh and say something like "I know it�s not much, but with that fantastic 6% royalty, you stand to make a killing�no, really�I swear on the Bible�please?"

Calgon, take me away.

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