Myra Lee

2003-11-26 - 9:44 a.m.

Last night Erik and I drove around the corner to the Red Room for a Bon Voyage party for our friend Beth who�s returning to her motherland (Ireland) tomorrow for an extended stay. She married our long-time friend (Eric) and moved to So Cal. to be married and such. They have a band together and they�re one of the most inspirational couples I know. They�re so nice to each other, so supportive, so genuine. But she�s sick and tired of Southern California and (in her words) "the people who are more shallow than she could have imagined." I don�t blame her. And she misses her family. She�s going to visit her family in Belfast and then she�s going on tour with a friend�s band throughout the U.K. When she heads back to our corner of the world she plans to focus on her cello skillz. I happen to have played the cello, happen to have schlepped that damn instrument onto the S.S. Universe Explorer for my voyage of discovery, happen to have played it in a band�so she�s actually hitting me up for lessons. Mind you, this lady went to music school, got a degree in Fiddling Fine Arts (or something like that), and is super talented. Mind you, I seem to have sold my soul to Paper Product Corporate Hell. I guess what I�m really trying to say is: Beth plans to come back to L.A., master the cello, and start building a career as a studio musician. We had a very inspirational tete-a-tete last night. She said a lot of great things about how much she�s willing to sacrifice to do something she�s passionate about, how she thinks it�s A-OK to tell yourself you�re too good for things. For example, she quit her shitty job to take off for Ireland. She said everyday she would say to herself, "I�m too good for this. I�m too good for this. etc. etc." I realized I�m afraid to think that. I have a ridiculous work ethic and I�m afraid of not having a job. Last night, Beth said, "If you hate your job, quit. If people there make you cry, quit. Just quit. You�ll be fine. Things always seem like a big deal at the time, but they�re not."

Not so long ago, my dreams were always about being a musician. I was always known as Music Girl in school. I�d played piano since birth, always sang, could always pick up an instrument and figure it out quickly. I struggled with the decision of whether or not to be a music major or an English major, but chose English because people said it made more sense as a "career path." But�ya� know? I hate career paths! Turns out, the "career path" is pretty fucking typical and painfully unrewarding. I�m a good musician. I am. I�m good at a lot of things and I feel like I�m wasting my life.

There�s no doubt in my mind Beth will do just fine giving music lessons and getting into studio musician work. I used to have no doubt that I could do anything I set my mind to. I�m not sure if I�ve lost that confidence or if I�ve failed to choose something meaningful to set my mind to�probably a little of both.

Oh, p.s. happy thanksgiving. I, for one, am thankful I know so many talented people who aren�t afraid of making their own way in the world.


<< Previous - Next >>

here are some words |older words |say hi |here i am |the land

art by Ida

design by K. Maria