2003-06-06 - 8:45 p.m.

Er, this is a random list with no continuity:

1. The scissor lady spotted my tattoo while I was bending over to file some paperwork. I hate my tattoo, and I want to have it removed. It�s big, it�s on my lower back, and it�s of praying hands. From across the office she shouted, "Praying hands?! I thought you were an artist type! What�s with the praying hands?!" Lately I�ve developed a way of not responding to people in the workplace. I just smile. Smiling covers a multitude of sins. She did wait around for an answer, but I just kept smiling until the moment passed. I guess I was annoyed by her bellowing because I think faith is Personal, and I resent being asked that question in front of a slew of proud fundamentalist Christian coworkers. I know it�s my fault because I�m the one with the branding, but I really do think I�m going to have it removed. Now if only I had $2000.00 lying around�

2. I�m going though a spell of not being sure what music I like. Today I listened to Nina Nastasia, and I had no idea if I liked it. I�m pretty sure that means I didn�t like it, but it seemed to be something I should like. I thought maybe I should buy it and spend some time with it and eventually I would like it. But that�s ridiculous. I came home and listened to Anne Murray, and that felt right.

3. Today I sat in a meeting that started at 9:00 AM and ended at 4:30 PM. The only thing discussed during these 7.5 hours was calendars.

4. I can�t cry. I usually have no trouble crying, but lately I can�t. The other day I was driving home from work, listening to Driving with Bert by Neil Halstead. For some reason, the song hit me a certain way. He did an instore at Fingerprints about a year ago, and something about that song had hit me a certain way then too. Maybe the other day I was just feeling nostalgic about that night and how simple my life seemed then. (I always think my life seemed simple when I look back, but it never was.) Anyway, the other day, I really felt like crying. But I couldn�t. I actually love to drive and cry. I have many an emotional release in my car. I really need a good cry right now. Guess I�ll have to watch Camille Claudel or read Where the Red Fern Grows.

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