2005-11-14 - 6:40 p.m.

In one month and two days, I will be finished with my first semester of law skool exams! Holy mackerel. In the meantime, I hope I don�t die. The workload is just plain stupid. My classmates are dropping like flies. People are crawling to class in dirty sweatpants and carrying armloads of Kleenex. The ones who aren�t dying of bird flu seem to be the cocaine/Red Bull set. There�s one girl I�m especially worried about. She admitted she�s been taking �copious amounts� of caffeine pills every day. The other day in class, the professor mentioned something about international torture laws, and she laughed hysterically.

I�m not sure where I fall within the rainbow of spastic students. I feel like an android. I�m working harder than I�ve ever worked at anything in my life, and I still don�t think it�s enough. I�m starting to worry I was crazy to think I could do this.

If only there was some kind of taser-style study device that would deliver electric shocks whenever I dozed off. Years ago, my pal Livia was working hard on a taser posture-corrector brace. It was quite an apparatus, complete with shoulder straps. And it really did shock you if you hunched over! I think there's a winner idea in here somewhere.

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