2005-06-29 - 3:00 p.m.

I have been charged with creating a very dumb product. My most recent assignment here in the land of Craptastic Publishing is to make something called The Four Seasons Celebrations Planner Keepsake. People are supposed to use it to plan to celebrate the seasons. Does that even make sense? I don�t think it does.

One time when my family was visiting our uppity wannabe-posh cousins, we went to some expensive restaurant. As we were sitting there listening to my Aunt Charlotte brag about her kids for hours, my brother stared down at his plate of Mexican food and said, "I wish I was beans." That�s what I wanted to say when I received my new assignment.

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