2004-09-22 - 12:15 a.m.

Sunday marked the grande finale of my birthday season. My brother and his lovely lady met Erik and me at our place, and we all drove down to have brunch at the Hotel del Coronado with my dad, his crazy bird, and my even crazier relatives from Jersey.

I never, ever see this cousin of mine from New Jersey. She�s as Jersey as it gets�bleached-out, crispy, permafried hair. Leathery orange skin. Teeny, tiny jean skirt. Zillions of jet skis. And she met her husband at a Bon Jovi concert! (I do not kid.) She married an �older� Italian fellow who�s made a serious fortune in �check cashing.� That may or may not be short for �loan sharking.� Or �mob activity.� My brother and I did agree that our cousin has a certain Carmela-Soprano-meets-Drea-essence about her. They have an estate on the Jersey shore.

Anyway, Jersey Cousin is a mystery to us. Her dad (my dad�s brother) went to West Point, became a Colonel, became fluent in Russian, lived all over the world, married a woman who committed suicide. It goes on and on. He now plays the bassoon in a community symphony and is married to an agoraphobic. It�s all very puzzling.

Anyway, I got on very well with Jersey Cousin. I don�t know if it was the bruncherly mimosas or our reminiscing over a very hazy family visit that took place back in 1984. I really, really liked her.

And I love the Hotel del Coronado.

But back to my birthday! My brother somehow stumbled on this children�s book:

It�s a very sad story about a little girl name Alicia who has a terrible day. It starts out with the main character saying, �Hello! My name is Alicia. This is my dog Neptune. I am generally a very happy person.� But then it goes on to explain how some days Alicia is miserable, so miserable she doesn�t want to get out of bed�all she can do is sit and mope and lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling. And when she lies on the floor and looks at the ceiling, the cracks make faces at her. Even when she plays music very loud and dances very fast, stands on her head, she�s still miserable. It�s a very special book.

But I am not miserable�oh no�

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