2004-08-31 - 9:33 a.m.

Oh lordy, I�m tuckered. And I want to drive to LA to dear, old Book Soup and see the McSweeney�s brouhaha this evening, and then the lovely folks of Fielding are playing someplace on Sunset too. But all I want is sleep. Do you ever stay up late doing nothing but puttering? I am a putterer.

Here is a special story about my mom: I called her to say hello, and these were first words out of her mouth: "Did I tell you I�ve become a Spiritual Grandmother?!" I had never heard that term before, but I�ll admit it made me nervous. She went on to explain that she recently "spiritually adopted" three Mexican teenage girls from Santa Ana. This means she takes them out to dinner once a week and teaches them about The Lord. I can�t think too much about my mom in her long denim jumper and big permy hair trying to relate to these girls. Of course, the explanation ended with a long sigh and the remark that if her own children won�t provide grandchildren, then she�ll just have to settle for spiritual grandmotherhood. Then she launched right into, "Has your brother mentioned anything about marriage? Do you think she�s The One?" AND THEN, she asked if I thought my brother�s girlfriend would consider attending a class at her church. Apparently, there�s a "conversion class" at her church designed for people who were raised Catholic. Because Catholics aren�t going to heaven, according to my mom.

I think I was adopted.

p.s. When I told Erik about the conversion class nonsense, he said, "Why don�t Catholics get to go to heaven?" And I said, "They put too much emphasis on Mary." And he said, "But the Fundamentalists put too much emphasis on George Bush. Why is that OK?"

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