2004-07-30 - 2:08 p.m.

Where have all the people who like to photograph monkeys in costumes gone? I�ve spent much of my workday trying to find them. To no avail. And I was so excited to be looking for these people�I know they�re out there�

Also in the workplace, there�s a lot of speculation right now about the rapidly approaching 3:00 July Birthday Teatime Celebration. You see, for the last office birthday celebration, we were all called into the conference room, but there were only two pieces of cake. For the two birthday people. We sang Happy Birthday, and then we had to stand there watching the birthday people eating their pieces of cake. I don�t know about you, but where I come from, birthdays warrant an entire cake. And the cake is then sliced into many pieces, that everyone in attendance may enjoy a tasty sliver. If the two pieces of cake thing happens again, I may have to take a hostage.

Last night at a bar, I found myself waiting in an endless line with a couple of sorority ladies. And I found myself engaged in a weird conversation with the sisters. Apparently, they both work at a tanning salon and it is not uncommon for tanners to decide to relieve themselves in the trashcan of the tanning room, rather than getting dressed and walking to the bathroom. I said, "I�m sorry to hear that." And I was, indeed, sorry to hear that.

My boss (Chicken Little) has a new short hairstyle. We call it the Bobby Bitchin� hairstyle. She seems to have a new, super-duper micro-manager personality to match it. It�s driving me crazy.

The time of cake reckoning is nigh! Let there be cake. Oh, let there.

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