Myra Lee

2004-06-25 - 3:30 p.m.

I hate my job!

Today started out with getting dragged into a meeting about making Christian artwork for Christian home d�cor. And I just wasn�t in the mood. My nutty creative director lady (who has been known to share little anecdotes about all the drugs she did in the �70s) was supposed to be heading the meeting, but I think she partook of the drogas this morning before work. Nothing she was saying made sense. After half an hour, we still hadn�t come up with any ideas, and she got this sly smile and said, "Well, I�ve been saving this�I know someone who paints fabulous roosters�"

Fabulous roosters? Fabulous Christian roosters? Is this my life? How did I get here? I immediately pictured roosters in polyester suits with a disco ball dancing to "burn baby burn." (Get it? A warning to sinners!)

Disco roosters for Jesus.

discoroostersforjesus.com

When that unbearable meeting finally ended (I think it lasted 12 hours), I walked away with this assignment: Find Bible verses with the word "sheep" in them. The selected verse will be slapped onto a painting of sheep in a meadow. I like these:

Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. �Song of Solomon 4:2

But see, there is joy and revelry, slaughtering of cattle and killing of sheep, eating of meat and drinking of wine! "Let us eat and drink," you say, "for tomorrow we die!" �Isaiah 22:13

How to choose?

Another special event of the morning was getting assailed by The Most Closed-Minded 50-Year-Old Republican Lady In Orange County. (That�s saying a lot, you know, as the O.C. is a terrifying bastion of conservative morons within an otherwise glorious state.) Someone had told her that I don�t like Bush. (Honey, you don't know the half of it.) And she wanted to fight about it, because she�s uncouth. This is the same woman who carried on and on (in the company�s lobby) about "those homos" who shouldn�t be allowed to get married. This morning she shouted, "Clinton was clearly the worst president we�ve ever had! When he was in charge, our nation�s children had to hear about oral sex in the classroom!" Verbatim. Responses that came to mind:

1. She went down on him in a classroom?

2. Have you been around any of our nation�s children lately? I think they know about oral sex.

3. What do think our nation�s children get to hear about now that Bush is "in charge?"

What I said was, "I don�t want to have this conversation with you."

Fortunately, I�m going to see Fahrenheit 911 tonight, which promises to be a real pick-me-up. I�ll be the bag lady in the back of the theater drinking little bottles of vodka.


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