Myra Lee

2003-11-20 - 11:20 a.m.

My morale in the workplace has reached an all-time low, which is saying a lot. I called Erik last night (who is in the lovely town of Tampa, Florida, right now and - fuck! - I miss him), and he cheered me up by saying, "That company has each and every symptom of being a horrible, toxic work environment. Get out. We�ll be fine." And another friend just e-mailed me and said, hang in there. remember it's all outside of you and actually kind of amusing, in a sick painful way. How right he is.

Things went horribly wrong yesterday, thanks to a power-hungry control freak senior designer who accused me of trying to be an art director and refused to attend a meeting. She�s also refusing to work with me on this silly "team" we�re supposed to be on together. I had to receive a "talking to" from my creative director and this other guy who gets paid to talk about nothing. (Don�t get me started on that guy. He just saunters in here one day a week and sits in the conference room making incredibly vague statements and idiotic analogies. He�s a "Consultant.") The most obnoxious part of all this Office Drama is that I think I�m actually very diplomatic and very easy to work with. If anything, I err on the side of "doormat." No wait, the most obnoxious part is that I was told I should apologize to the control freak senior designer. I won�t do it. She threw a serious temper tantrum yesterday, and I don�t think she deserves an apology. She sat in a cubicle refusing to come to a meeting, saying, "Why should I come if the editors are just going to be the art directors?" A huge group of the art department just sat in the conference room waiting for her for twenty minutes while different people took turns trying to coerce her into coming. After a very long, very uncomfortable twenty minutes, we were told the meeting would have to postponed and that there was a "personal problem." Am I crazy, or is that childish and unprofessional? I�m not usually stubborn or headstrong at work. I just do my part as a cog in the development of craptastic products for Middle America machine. And I don�t get paid enough to fret.

OK, I�m going to do deep breathing and try to remember it's all outside of me and actually kind of amusing, in a sick painful way. Mmmm, I love that sick, painful amusement.

Today is my senior editor�s birthday. She�s wearing an enormous furry hat shaped like a birthday cake complete with candles. When you squeeze one of the candles, the hat plays Happy Birthday. Is this really my life? Am I being Punk�d? Instead of breathing deeply, I�m just going to sit here waiting for Ashton Kucher to appear and let me it�s all a joke.


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