2003-08-27 - 2:37 p.m.

I recently made a mistake in my workplace. It was - honestly - a minor oversight that wasn�t only my fault. And - in the hierarchy of publishing sins - it wasn�t a big one.

Yesterday my Creative Director came into my cubicle and said, "Company Owner is pretty upset about the mistake, but lucky for you he�s in a good mood from his vacation." Then she said, "He suggested that every time you make a mistake like this, you will be docked $100; your immediate boss will be docked $200; and I will be docked $300." And I said, "Are you serious?!" And she laughed and said, "Well, we can pay for our sins in other ways, though. I was thinking that this time you can create a flow chart of procedures we can follow to prevent this from happening again, along with a proofreading checklist for gift products? Creating this list will be your punishment. Reading the list will be my punishment. How does that sound?" I wanted to yell, "It sounds like you and Company Owner are completely fucking insane!!!" But I didn't.

With this speech, Creative Director and Company Owner surpassed my mother on my list of World�s Most Irrational People.

But then, there was more! Today I got an e-mail from Creative Director Lady (CDL) saying, "Company Owner wants to be sure you don�t include any Islamic quotes on the inspirational calendars this year. I hope with won�t be a problem for you."

Responses I considered sending:

CDL, Are Bodhisattva quotes OK?

CDL, I hope you won�t have a problem with me posting this direction as part of our "mission statement" on the company web site.

CDL, What planet do you come from?

CDL, I try to avoid being a complete Knee Jerk Leftist PC-Mafia type, but your e-mail is silly. And irritating. And you should be embarrassed.

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