Myra Lee

2003-08-14 - 7:07 p.m.

Oh. Hell. Erik�s parents are coming to visit from Boston. (That�s not the "oh hell" part. I love Erik�s parents.) The oh hell part is that they�re staying with us. I�m not sure why. There are hundreds of other family members throughout Southern California - family members with houses and free time. I think Erik�s mom thought it would be cute to give us a chance to play grownup. We should be better at playing grownup by now, since Erik�s 32 and I�m 26 and we�ve been at it for years.

The parental units arrive tomorrow, so tonight is all about mad cleaning like tweakers. I can�t believe how dirty our place was/is! I clean all the time! I really do, but we have so much junk. It�s a multimedia extravaganza in here. And when you step back and view your living quarters and think what it must look like to someone else, you see it with new eyes. Why do we refuse to replace the burnt out light bulbs in the bathroom? Why is the office filled with hundreds of computer books? Why are there guitar cords running all around the coffee table? Why is there a cat carrier with a cooler on top of it hanging precariously off the top of the refrigerator? Hard to say.

We have a new motto as we're cleaning. When wondering where to put something or how to arrange our stuff, we say, "What would Carson do?" As in Carson from Queer Eye. I know Carson's actually the Couture Gay and not the Home Decor Gay, but it just sounds right. And I just love Carson. I'm going to make W.W.C.D. bracelets.

Erik is off running many, many errands right now. I gave him a list. On his way out the door, he was reading the list and exclaimed, "Silver polish?! Do we have silver??" We don�t really have silver, but, see, we do have a set of decanters that sits on a silver tray. And the silver tray needs polishing. Never mind how I should just actually stash the whole set so that Erik�s parents don�t wonder why we have gallons of whiskey, vodka, and gin.

They�re going to be here for five days. I�m not sure this is going to work. I�m not a good grownup.


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